


Change

by Findarato



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: F/M, Gen, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 09:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13164111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Findarato/pseuds/Findarato
Summary: “Protecting isn’t wrong, right?”





	Change

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Child_of_demon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Child_of_demon/gifts).



> Happy Holidays, childofdemon! Kind of ironic because I was your recipient last year XD  
> One of your prompts asked for Chizuru and Sakamoto, and I’ve finally finished his route, so it seemed fitting to write about them. I’m sorry I’m late; a lot of RL things on top of bad planning and jet lag, but here it finally is! This is set a little after the end of Kyoto Winds; hopefully it doesn’t contradict Edo Blossoms. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
>  
> 
> [ Note: it is personal preference that I use rasetsu and oni rather than furies or demons. ]

**.**

_**Change** _

  
Despite all the troubles and happenings, all the changes and adjustments,  even all the rumours of war and the uncertainty of the future, nature was very dependable. Seasons came and went, following their routines as usual. The sight of snow first made her glad, until she remembers the winters spend with the Shinsengumi. Like a chapter in her life, slowly drawing to a close. And this new chapter? Terrifyingly blank and unpredictable. She has seen more guns than swords the past few weeks, more buttons and western styles of clothing. More politics and debates, and other unsettling things.  
  
And then there’s Sakamoto. Baffling, endearing, reckless, affectionate Sakamoto. Carefree Sakamoto who, yesterday, upon seeing snow, and run out without his shoes to make a snowball just to throw at Shiranui. Chizuru had been treated to the most aggressive snowball fight ever, and that was after comparing it to Harada, Shinpachi, and Heisuke’s fight a few years back.  
  
But she had laughed. For a moment, she had forgotten all the troubles, about rasetsu and her father, about Nakaoka, choices…she had laughed so hard that her ribs ached.  
  
She couldn’t make snow bunnies, though.  
  
Today, it’s a little warmer and the snow was already sliding off the trees. There’s a small spot of sunlight where she dips her toes and hands, a cup of tea next to her.    
  
“Something on your mind?”  
  
Chizuru starts; snow has begun to gather outside, much like her thoughts. “End of the year musings, I think,” she says, turning away from the window. “A lot has happened.”  
  
“It sure did.” Sakamoto crouches down next to her, face freshly-washed and towel still in his hands. “But don’t reflect too hard.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Well, you think too much, and stuff’ll get to you.” His words, ever carrying the Kansai-lilt, always had that way to drawing her in. “And I think it’s safe to say we’ve got a lot more than most people do their plates, y’know? “  
  
“That’s true…” Most people can’t say they’ve jumped down a roof getting chased by red-eyed, white-haired monsters. It actually keeps happening to her, ever since she got to Kyoto.  “I guess I’m worried.”  
  
“I can tell. You have this expression going on with your mouth when you worry.” Suddenly, his thumb is gently trailing down the side of her jaw. “Right there.”  
  
“U-um.” Her heart gives the odd pulse; she swallows and attempts to move away. “I didn’t know.”  
  
“Don’t worry, you’re still cute.”  
  
Now she’s really flustered. Squeezing her fingers together, she shakes her head a little. “Ryouma-san, I…I still don’t have an answer for you, about the Shinsengumi—”  
  
“Say, do you want to go out?”  Sakamoto cuts in, abruptly standing and tossing the towel to the side. “I have an idea.”  
  
“An idea?”  
  
He extends his hand. “You’ll like it, I promise.”  
  
Still a little thrown off by the interruption, she nods and takes his hand.  
  
“Wow, they’re cold.”  
  
“Oh, sorry, I—” She attempts to pull back, but finds her fingers are held tighter.  
  
“I don’t mind it. Besides,” he easily lifts her up to her feet, hand still clasped to her. “It’s warmer, isn’t it?”  
  
“Yes.” Her voice squeaks and she coughs. “Thank you.”

**.**

  
  
Mercifully, Sakamoto stops holding her hand once they’re in the main streets of Kyoto. She slips them into her sleeves instead, watching her breath puffing out. There’s even a little sun pushing out from among the clouds, warming her neck and back.  
  
Walking is always a good time to observe. She’s come to love Kyoto, and after so many patrols with the Shinsengumi, it feels strange to walk them alone…though today she has someone. Sakamoto cuts quite a figure in his outfit, the coat accentuating his shoulders and frame. He is by no means the tallest man, but his manner of walking, speaking, and moving—they all told the story of a confidant man.  
  
…or, overconfident. Some ronin had bumped into them earlier and she’s still amazed they got out of that one. Sakamoto had caught a punch aimed for him and began chatting, distracting them until they were able to disappear in a crowd after at least  two of them tripped into some poor merchant’s display. She had heard a lot of yelling just about then.  
  
It makes her realise the Shinsengumi almost never had a chance. They had orders to not touch Sakamoto, it was true, but had they received any orders, more than likely Sakamoto would always give them the slip.  
  
“You’re thinking again, aren’t you?”  
  
She nods.  
  
“Let me guess: you’re thinking about me.”  
  
She skids to a stop. “H-how did you know?”  
  
“Maybe I have a sixth sense for people looking at me.” He winks, the side of his mouth tipping upwards. “And maybe I have a sixth sense for when you look even more at me. So what were you thinking?”  
  
“I…” How does she even talk about this? “You’re really unique, Ryouma-san.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“I think it’s almost a talent that you’re both loved and hated by so many people.” There, she said it.  
  
Sakamoto stops walking; someone behind him nearly walks into him and curses, but he doesn’t turn. He fixes Chizuru with a gaze so intense she nearly takes a step backwards.  
  
Then he laughs. It starts as a low chuckle that breaks down into a full convulsion. People stare.  
  
“What’s so funny?”  
  
“Well, that’s my talent. I don’t know if it’s this face or my personality, but you’re not the first one to tell me that.” He wipes his eyes and straightens up. “Maybe it’s my face.”  
  
“I-I’m sure it’s not your face.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“It’s too good-looking of a fa—” Chizuru claps her hands over mouth, shocked at what’s coming out. “I mean—it’s not a kind of face that people would hate.”  
  
Too late, Sakamoto is smiling again. “Ooh, I didn’t quite get that first part.”  
  
“I’m not repeating it.” For lack of a better action, she starts walking, picking up the pace so that the wind cools her face. “In any case, where are we supposed to be going?” _Please don’t bring up that fact I basically called you handsome…I can’t believe I said that out loud…_  
  
“This way.” A hand on her shoulder gently stops her and turns her to the right.  
  
“Oh.” Her face is still hot.  
  
“You know, I like teasing you because you blush so nicely, but I hope I don’t make you uncomfortable.”  
  
“It’s not that…” Chizuru shakes her head. “Sometimes it’s just hard for me to reply because you’re too good with words.” And too good with other things.  
  
Hands in her sleeves, she rubs her arms as she continues. “I think you throw me off. Not in a bad way, however.” Oh, she knows where they are now: in front of one of the shrines where people had wishes for the upcoming year. “I just don't know if I could be as…straightforward as you.”  
  
“So? You’re you. That’s a good thing.”     
  
The steps were a little slippery, so she reluctantly takes her hand out to grasp the railing to the side. “But you didn’t know a thing about me when we first met.”  
  
“I knew you were worried. And then we kept runnin’ into each other. It’s like luck wanted it to happen.” Sakamoto slips his hand against her elbow, steadying her. “With all those chances, it’s not just some coincidence.”  
  
He says it so sincerely.  
  
She’s distracted in her prayers as they shake the bell and clap their hands, though not distracted enough that she forgets to wish for the well-being of the Shinsengumi by name. No doubt, they had found out what happened to Inoue. And as for her…would they had worried? They had so much other important things to be thinking about, so she can’t be a priority for them.  
  
That doesn’t mean she has stopped caring. But once again, she is dodged by inactivity.  
  
“Chizuru.”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“We’ve got one more place to go. It’s a little far, so are you okay with that?”  
  
“I can make it.”  
  
He beams. “Good. First—” He takes something out from underneath his coat; she hadn’t even noticed he had it. “For you.”  
  
“For…me?” A scarf, cream-coloured and heavy, falls open in her hands. “Is it really for me?”  
  
“I promise I’m not hiding any other girls elsewhere. Here, I’ll put it on for you.”  
  
“You don’t—” Too late, he’s already got it looped snugly, laying the two ends across her front.  
  
“Perfect.”  
  
Chizuru squeezes the fabric in her hands, the softness of it unbelievably warm. “But I haven’t gotten anything for you.” It hadn’t even crossed her mind to…  
  
“I have you and that’s enough.” Her heart does its usual jump when he uses that tone of voice. “Is it warm?”  
  
“It is.” And it smells like Sakamoto. She inhales deeply, burying her nose into the scarf. “Thank you.”  
  


**.**

  
  
Their next stop was a tea shop, where they warmed up and ate. After that, a market, and finally, in the late afternoon their final destination is an area of cherry blossom trees. No sakura to be seen, of course, but the icicles and snow on the branches are beautiful when they reflect the sunrays. Very few people are here, and she wonders if this is why he picked this spot. Though…despite being pronounced dead, Sakamoto doesn’t seem very concerned that he’d be found out.  
  
“Sorry this place is a little far, and that there’s actually not really much to see.” Sakamoto brushes off a bench. “But I’ve always liked this place. Everyone’s got a favourite in Kyoto, and this is mine.”  
  
If she tries, she can picture it. All the pink and brown, petals flying and a few hundred people. “I didn’t know about this place.”  
  
“Did the Shinsengumi do hanami?”  
  
“Oh, one year. Another year I was at a festival.” And she had actually worn a kimono. “Ryouma-san, I wasn’t a prison.” Not a first, but over time, she truly did. “Or a tool. But I think because I knew you—”  
  
“It made some things convenient for them. I get that.” Sakamoto sits down next to her, putting his arm around her. She’s glad for the warm, but the proximity—it still gets to her, being unused to this kind of attention. “But I don’t like their methods. Good people can do bad things.”  
  
“You and the Shinsengumi…”  
  
“What about us?”  
  
“I think you have a lot in common.”  
  
When Sakamoto chuckles, she can feel it run through her frame. “Don’t let…what’s his name again, Hijikata?—don’t let him hear you say that. But what do you mean?”  
  
She hesitates.  
  
“I won’t get mad.”  
  
“Well…” Casting her gaze to the scarf, she curls her hands. “All of you believe in something so strongly that you’re willing to pursue it and do whatever it takes. They’re protecting the Bakufu, and you’re protecting this country.” This is probably oversimplifying it, but she doesn’t she’s wrong. “Protecting isn’t wrong, right?”  
  
“Depends on what it is. They want to stick with the rules.”  
  
“But they—” she bites her lip; Shinsengumi had their pride; she can’t talk about everything without feeling like she’s sharing too much. “They fight each step of the way. So do you.”  
  
“That’s probably why they can’t stand me and I can’t stand ’em.”  He sighs, rubbing his nose. “Maybe in another time or place we’d just be friendly rivals, but as long as the country’s like this, nothing’ll change.”  
  
They both have a point, and seeing both of it doesn’t help her choose anything. She looks down at her lap. “Do you really think one day everyone will be equal?”  
  
“Yes,” he answers without hesitation. “For sure. There’s less I can do right now, being that I’m suppos’d to be dead, but what I can fix, what I can change, I’ll do my best to.”  
  
“I believe you,” she says. By now, her lips are little frozen, but it doesn’t diminish her words. “I want to see what you can do.”  
  
“Chizuru—” The arm around her tightens, and once again, she finds herself in very secure embrace. “I’ll remember those words”  
  
She blushes, crossing her feet and trying to look everywhere except his eyes.  
  
“But one day, you’ll say the words that I really want to hear.”  
  
Before she ask what he means, he takes her hand and kisses it. Did he notice the trembling of it? “Ah, it’s cold again. We should head back before you get sick.”  
  
“Ryouma-san.” He’s quite good at marching into her thoughts and scattering all of them.  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“About the rasetsu, I…I’ll figure out along the way what I want to do.” The thought of Heisuke and Sannan and possibly other captains causes her stomach to tighten. “Is that still okay.”  
  
“We’ve got have time.” Sakamoto gently pokes her nose. “There’s still a lot to be done here. But that’s what I took you here today.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“I mean that I basically took you out on a date, because you needed one.”  
  
Oh. “I—” _Oh_. She’s very thankful the scarf, because she gets to push her whole face into it and squirm. A date. She’s not even dressed properly for one, much less prepared.  
  
“I wanted to get your mind off stuff. Did it help?”  
  
She nods, unwilling to trust her voice.  
  
“Good.”  
  
The walk back feels all too quick; it feels like they’re chasing the sun, the light and temperature slowly disappearing. She can make out the last of the sunset before it’s gone behind the mountains, leaving only the cold wind. Yet Sakamoto is there, hugging her tightly to him and making her the scarf stays on.  
  
Last year, things had been so different. Another place, another group of people, a different kind of life. Like nature, it ebbed and waned, grew and escalated. It’s almost surprising how at peace she feels right now, despite the recent turmoil.  
  
And who knows how long Sakamoto will be there? He’s still plunging ahead, with plans and ideas. He’s the kind of person to seize the world and make it his, and bring others along. That kind of energy—it’s pulled her along, too. But for how long?  
  
The body next to hers is no longer human. However, it holds the same warmth, and rasetsu or not, Sakamoto is still undiminished, still fervent, and still ambitious. And…still bold. She still can’t believe he called this a date. But she doesn’t dislike it.  
  
_I hope this lasts. I hope he lasts see to world change for him._

He deserves it, and if she can’t support the Shinsengumi anymore from where she is, she can support what is before her—and that’s one Sakamoto Ryouma.  
  


_**.end.** _

 


End file.
